No Matter How Hard I Try

Have you ever been in the position that, ‘’No matter how hard you tried, you did not make it’’?

You tried to befriend someone, to fit-in at work, to forgive or make peace with someone, to lose weight, to be heard, to be seen, to get your number of followers up on Social Media… I could go on and on with the different situations, but I suspect that you’ve already made the connection with what I am writing about. We are all humans after all, so it is more likely that this state of being has happened to you and I dare say: ‘’and more than once at that!’’

How do I know? Quite simply, I am a fellow human-being, hence I have been there like you — more than once — and I know the feelings which arise when we reach the conclusion:

‘’No matter how hard I tried, I did not make it.’’

It leaves us bewildered and a bit powerless with an internal monologue grumbling, ‘’I don’t understand, I was calm, I prepared myself, I was positive… I did all that I possibly could to work it out’’. It is then followed by, ‘’Why could I not make it work?” and, “What am I going to do about it?’’.

The internal monologue becomes louder and louder and in a blink of an eye your Internal Drama begins. This part of you, which craves for safety, certainty, success, and recognition, is taking over and running wild. Moreover, the overwhelming emotions jump on-board and regardless of specific emotions (be it anger, despair, self-blame, self-deprecating or a mix of them all), you can be sure they are going to make your bleak outlook on your situation even bleaker.

In the end, we are left depleted with a need to shake off feelings of uneasiness, anxiety, and sadness at best. It does not matter whether the rest of your day prior to it went smoothly. Once we decide to go on this road, we are clearly not helping ourselves to see the beauty which surrounds us.

The question, thus, is to figure out whether there is another way to be or to respond to the disappointing fact that, ‘’No matter how hard I tried, I did not make it.” A loud and clear ‘’YES’’ is definitely the answer.

Granted it may take a few attempts before getting rid of your habitual reaction to the type of scenario described above. It is doable nonetheless, when you realise that in the aforementioned situation, we singled one path out of the many avenues that could have opened in front of us, should we have chosen them. Instead, we chose to react because this is the way we have been behaving since our first tantrum as babies, when we needed to express frustration and our emotion. Babies and children REACT to situations, they do not RESPOND.

Responding versus Reacting

Isn’t it pretty cool to know that, as an adult, you can choose how you wish to respond to a situation that is not pleasant to you? You have the power of choice and of knowing that you do not wish to go down the drama road because you will not find anything uplifting, gratifying, and worth feeling if you go down that lane.

So, instead of listening to your internal monologue, wish to listen to your inner voice — the voice of wisdom, of clarity. For me, there is nothing better than some breath-work and some gentle yoga moves on the mat or a great walk with my dog in the wood to help me connect to my Inner Voice. It will not change the fact that at the moment, life is not as you wish it to be, but by choosing how you want to respond, you are empowering yourself by restating & reminding yourself of your personal values.

Consequently, your response may grant you some peace in a time of self-doubt. Patanjali’s Eight Branches of Yoga tells us about the Illusion and the fickleness of our emotions. Have a quick google search and see if what you read inspires you to find the other path.

In Love and Light,


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I have been a yoga practitioner since 1996. Since then, I have explored different yoga traditions: Ashtanga, Kundalini & Hatha.

I have found teaching yoga very gratifying and fulfilling, I love to see students taking their own steps towards understanding, transformation and growth.

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